[INFO] Age-Old Tradition In Kedayan Marriage

THE origins of Kedayans are somewhat uncertain, with some believing that their people originated from Java. According to the history books, Sultan Bolkiah (1473 to 1521) who was a renowned sea captain and voyager anchored on the island of Java.

He became interested with the agricultural techniques adopted there.

Therefore, he brought some of the Javanese farmers back to the Sultanate where they later married the local Malays which in turn produced the Kedayan ethnic group.

The wedding customs of the Kedayans are not much different from the indigenous Malay ethnic groups in Brunei.

According to Acting Brunei-Muara District Officer/Special Duties Senior Officer of the Ministry of Home Affairs Hj Matussin Orang Kaya Sura Haji Tuba, Kedayan weddings take into account the place and atmosphere as well as the social status of the tribe.

This also includes items and amount needed during the wedding ceremony.

In the olden days, men and women did not openly court each other. Therefore, the ceremony called Majlis Berjarum-jarum was meant to be an opportunity for the groom’s representatives, such as his parents, to find out whether the woman is still available for marriage.

During the Adat Bersuruh or Meminang, representatives from the groom will head to the prospective bride’s house to set up preparations for the engagement ceremony.

These days, parents from both sides would first meet each other especially during discussions which include sending a proper entourage to seal the formal engagement.

Some examples of items that would be agreed for the engagement would be a ring and a dowry.

This is followed by the Adat Menghantar Tanda Bertunang which means delivering gifts comprising all the requests during the engagement ceremony, and may also include additional gifts by the groom.

The bride can also respond in kind. The delivery of the gifts is usually an impressive and grand affair, with an entourage of men or women carrying silver trays adorned with beautiful cloths topped with the displayed gifts.

Speaking to The Brunei Times, Village head of Lamunin, Major (Rtd) Said Hj Tinggal said, “The gifts would include $50 and a gold ring to start the ceremony called pembuka mulut/majlis, $300 and a gold ring as a sign of engagement called tanda pertunangan, a dowry of $220 and for daily expenditures called belanja serbaguna which is given according to the bride’s parents wishes.”

Poems and analogous parables will be used during the ceremony such as “hajat kan meyunting bunga di taman tuannya, dapat jua menjadi rantingnya”.

Meanwhile the Adat Melangkah Dulang would involve a gold ring and a piece of cloth from the groom to the bride’s unmarried elder sister or brother.

“In the Adat Melangkah Sungai, the sultanate’s own version of brocade which is Jong Sarat and a gold ring will be given to the groom if the said couple does not have any immediate family ties,” said the village head.

Meanwhile the Kipir and Ceramai, a container of sorts which is made from copper would be used for the safekeeping of precious articles such as gold.

If this is not available, it would be replaced by $50 while a six meter white cloth will be used in the Lapik Bunga Pinang ceremony.

A month before the wedding ceremony, families and relatives as well as neighbours would come together and make preparations which include constructing a hall, a hut for preparing meals during the wedding or improving the bride’s house.

Entertainment which includes the playing of traditional music instruments such as the gulingtangan and traditional games such as berkuit tempurung kelapa, gasing, pencak silat will also be prepared for the wedding.

The families would then choose the wedding date which is slated after the harvest season and the solemnisation ceremony named Majlis Akad Nikad will be held at the bride’s residence a day or two before the wedding ceremony.






Usually performed at night and separately for both the groom and the bride is the Majlis Berbedak dan Berpacar which sees the couple both dressed in customary traditional Kedayan attire while being adorned with traditional ornaments.

During the wedding reception which is coined the Majlis Bersandingan, relatives and friends from near and far would come together for a few days to assist as well as to attend the wedding.

The event will start with an early morning Mandi Belangir for the bride-to-be and this will be organised by chosen elders of the village.

The bride will then consume a plate of yellow rice complemented by an omelette, coconut shavings, bananas and salt. After that, the bride will be dressed in gold coloured bridal wear and equipped with an umbrella adorned with flowers which will then be followed by eating sirih betel leaves and chalk.

Several threads of different colours would be wrapped around her body and she would then blow out a candle in order to avoid any unwanted and unforeseen circumstances.

Before the groom enters the house of the bride, he will be escorted by a Malay man in a ceremony called Pusing Naga in order to dispel any malicious forces.


This is where the groom led by the medicine man and the entourage would turn three times in one spot before entering the house where his feet would then be first be washed with coconut cream (santan).



After the wedding reception, the couple would be surrounded by relatives and neighbours as they perform the customary Makan Bersuap-suapan ceremony where the groom feeds the bride and vice versa with yellow rice, salt, an egg and vegetables.

During the night, the Majlis Ambil-ambilan will proceed with the groom entering the bride’s room and escorting her to the wedding dais.

This is followed by the Adat Mulih Tiga Hari atau Tujuh Hari in which the couple will be chaperoned by their families to the groom’s house.

After a feast and performing the doa selamat, the couple will then return to the bride’s residence.

Gifts (from the groom’s family), mainly electrical appliances and groceries, will be given to the couple. The couple is not allowed to leave the house for 40 days in order to avoid any unwanted accidents.

This would then mark the end of the wedding ceremony of the Kedayan ethnic group. The traditional and customary aspects of Kedayan weddings are gradually changing due to convenience, time and inter-marriage between different ethnic groups.

Note:
This article is taken from The Brunei Times and I posted here as my reference for future. Thank you to this journalist for useful info to our new generations.